Avoiding hyper-parenting

by Christina on October 22, 2014

I really liked this recent article in the NYT by Pamela Druckerman.

These are things to remember as our baby grows up:

Expect more from your children, and they will rise to it. Expect less, and they will sink,” ~ Emma Jenner

‘Seize windows of freedom joyfully, without guilt.’ The greatest insight to emerge from France since “I think, therefore I am” is that children’s birthday parties should be drop-offs. The other parents get three hours to go off and play.”

“Your child probably won’t get into the Ivy League or win a sports scholarship. At age 24, he might be back in his childhood bedroom, in debt, after a mediocre college career. Raise him so that, if that happens, it will still have been worth it.”

Try the sleeping cure. Most parenting crises are caused by exhaustion. Force yourself to observe the same nighttime rituals as your toddler: bath, book, bed.”

Have less stuff. Messiness compounds the chaos of family life.”

Don’t worry about overscheduling your child. Kids who do extracurriculars have higher grades and self-esteem than those who don’t, among many other benefits.”

“Teach your kids emotional intelligence. Help them become more evolved than you are.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathleen Coco October 23, 2014 at 11:19 pm

I did not overschedule my kids. Seems like another polarizing sort of parenting issue. I felt they needed time to dream and veg and find their own fun. This was true infant through college and it worked well for us. My kids are not sports stars, don’t play musical instruments and their art projects please only ourselves. However, they can concentrate on a task, have lots of good friendships and accel at their careers. I think you just need to be mindful of your own children. It is the Tiger mother v. the op ed: I remember the op ed best. The Mom stated that when any of her kids sought to drop an activity or sport, if it met more than 2x/week, required driving and/or met over the dinner hour, she did nothing to dissuade them: She secretly rejoiced. Keep looking at your own family and making the best decisions you can at the time.
XXOO

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Christina October 24, 2014 at 7:23 pm

Hi Kathleen,
It’s really nice to hear from you, and thanks for reminding me about the oped points — I like her rule for dropping an activity. It seems especially important to protect family dinner time. I completely agree with you on letting kids have time to dream and veg and find fun on their own, thank you!!
Christina

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Chris Palmer October 24, 2014 at 1:16 am

I love the “Have less stuff” advice. Clutter causes terrible stress, whereas an organized, uncluttered environment helps to inducetranquility and serenity.

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Christina October 24, 2014 at 7:24 pm

Yes! I am working on that… it’s so easy to accumulate clutter, especially with a new baby.

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